We have recently come into the year 2016.  Around this time of the new year, I like to ask people if they have any “resolutions” or things they are planning for the coming year.  I like to do this because I like to get people thinking about these sorts of things if they haven’t been, or encourage and try to help them if they have.

This year especially I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they aren’t fans of or that they don’t believe in resolutions.

“What, all of a sudden this day I’m going to make all of these changes?”

“So many people make these resolutions and forget about them in a month.”

“I try to do stuff everyday, you know.”

I hear you, but let’s look at the New Year for what it is.  A new year; the end of the last.  Throughout the year there are many, many endings.  The end of the minute, the end of the hour, the end of the morning, the end of the day.  The end of the week, the end of the month, the end of the season.  Outside of units of time we have the end of jobs, the end of careers, the end of friendships (hopefully not :)), the end of intimate relationships, the end of a sporting season, the end of a school semester, the end of a stage of life, the end of a feeling, the end of a belief, the end of an view.

Any and many of these things can end within (let’s stick with) any given year and in any certain or uncertain way.  I probably am more reflective than most, but I deem it quite necessary to reflect on things as they begin and end, come and go or else how do we learn?  How do we grow wiser?  How do we not continue to make the same mistakes?

For example, an intimate relationship has ended.  This was a very passionate relationship, but lacked honesty and loyalty.  The highs were very high, but the lows were very low.  There were frequently highs and frequently lows, scaling as if by plane to the top of the mountain only to quickly plummet to the depths of the ocean.  You do not realize it so much when you are in it, but this instability affected all areas of your life.  You clung to the peaks believing in an eternal summit that was never possible.

If one was to not reflect on this relationship, it is very likely that they will go searching for someone that could bring them to the top of the mountain again.  It is very likely that they will cling to that feeling and hold on to the hope that they can stay there forever, maybe potentially with the initial partner at some point in the not-so-clear future.

Reflection could bring truth to the relationship.  What was it, really?  Who was I?  Who was she?  Who was he?  He was insecure.  He had been hurt before and could not trust and so his love was not true love, but a dependence or clinging to a physical feeling.  When his partner was not around, he needed that feeling anyway he could.  I was not understanding enough.  She had different values and looked for different things in life.  He never had a father figure to teach him how to treat a woman.

Or, she really loved me unconditionally, that really meant a lot to me.  He really valued family and I’ve now realized how much my family means to me.  Her strength was not based on external things, but on her knowledge of her inherent value and worth as a human being.  Or, thinking years later, that really was a wonderful relationship full of love, I need to build something like that again.  And so on and so forth.

As a much more frequently occurring example , a day has ended.  How was this day?  How was I feeling?  If it wasn’t a good day, or I wasn’t feeling well, what was lacking?  Did I sleep enough?  How did I eat?  Was I eating lots of processed foods?  Is there something on my mind that I need to deal with?  A conversation I need to have?  A task I need to complete?  If it was a good day, then why was it good?  How can I have days like this each day?  How can I feel like this each day?

This type of reflection brings us wisdom.  It allows us to come closer to our own truths.  It teaches us what we should seek out, what we should be indifferent to, and what we should avoid.  It gives us understanding of ourselves and our world.  Reflection, in my opinion, is vital for improvement.  If we didn’t think about why things are the way they are, we would never change things for the the better.

But it is often difficult for this reflection to occur.  We are so busy.  We live in a system where we must work and work only to be bombarded by a constantly flowing media stream.  “Don’t think about your life.  Don’t think about who we are.  Don’t think about your place in the universe.  Just continue on.  Consume.”  That is one of the reasons why we frequently find ourselves in patterns of behaviour that are entirely negative and only bring us unhappiness.

The celebration of the New Year is one time where we all recognize together the end of one thing and the beginning of another.  In many cases we are given two full days of reflection free of our chains.  More than anything, the New Year provides us an opportunity to reflect on the year that just ended.  Once again, who was I?  How did I feel?  How did I grow?  How were my relationships?  What do I need to do more of?  What do I need to let go of?  In 2014, I resolved to quit smoking cigarettes.  It was an extremely unhealthy habit that was not serving me.  In 2015, I resolved that I needed to give more of myself.  This blog is only one small manifestation of that resolution.  These resolutions of the past two years were two of the most important changes I have made and have only brought more positive changes bringing more love, more health and more life.  They are the result of reflecting on the previous year and asking what I wanted of the next.  This year, I resolve to create more.  I love to read and to listen to music especially, and this year I want to begin to bring some of my own artistry to the world.  So far, that means I will start to take guitar lessons to create my own music and write longer pieces on the way to publishing a book in the future.  These are only the first manifestations of more and more creating in my everyday life.

A year encompasses 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months, 4 seasons, and the beginning and the end of so many things.  We should not forget what this signifies and the opportunities it presents us to learn, grow, love, and live.

Happy New Year.