Hi friends, I hope you are all well 🙂

As you all probably know, I am quite simple when it comes to my methods of communication.  I much prefer a phone call to a text.  Rather than using Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, or Instagram to communicate or keep in touch electronically, I would prefer exchanging emails.

Last week I was selling my partner’s iPhone for her.  Saturday evening, I received some animated text messages from an eager potential buyer.  I did not respond immediately (I am admittedly not overly mindful of responding to text messages).

Sunday, I was working on an assignment at the school library when I received a phone call from the same number.  It was a young man who was quite polite.  He informed me of his interest in the phone and that he was willing to match the listed price (which was some discount in my view).  He was naught twenty minutes walking distance and he would come to me.  Being that I was in the midst of an assignment and had been dealing with reading wonky text messages for the past week or two, I was ecstatic with the situation.

Two minutes after I hung up, still basking in the awesomeness of the situation, I received a text message.  It was the same young man.

“Actually that crack is only going to get bigger.  I’ll give you ($50 less then the price we had just kindly agreed over the phone two minutes earlier).”

I answered, “No.  The crack will not get bigger.  If it does you can fix it for under $50.  The phone is already priced at 50% of what some sellers are advertising,” and got back to my assignment, shaking my head and furrowing my brow.

Another vibration. “Is there a charger or box?”

“No.  As advertised.  Just the phone.”

“So I have to buy a charger?”

I didn’t answer that one.  Five minutes later, another vibration.

“Ok come to my house.”  (He had mentioned in the phone conversation he was at Parliament and Dundas.)

“Lol. We went from you coming to me and paying the list price to you lowballing me and me coming to you.  I’ll meet you halfway.”

“Ok, come to Tim Horton’s at Parliament and Dundas.”

At this point I am getting a little bit frustrated as these messages have now been interrupting my work for the past 15-20 minutes.

“That’s not halfway.  That’s your house.  I’ll meet you at the corner of Sherbourne and Dundas.”

“But there’s nowhere to meet there.”

At this point I had had enough and called him.  We quickly agreed to meet at the corner of Sherbourne and Dundas in fifteen minutes.  I let him know that I would ask Lisa if she had an extra charger, but that I didn’t believe she did.  We met on time.  We shook hands, had a brief but friendly conversation and parted ways.

***

From my own experience, the various types of instant messaging mediums inherently give the green light to indecently push the boundaries of the behaviors and character we would embody in person or on the phone.  There is an impersonality to it that yields to our online avatars or desires in a way that could not happen otherwise.

In the past, I have acted in ways over these mediums that have directly and indirectly caused great harm to the person on the other end, other people in my life, and myself.  Conversely, others have acted in ways over these mediums that have directly or indirectly caused great harm to me, others around them, and themselves.  I am sure that these actions could not have taken place, been initiated or been ongoing in person or over the phone.

I am of the belief that all that we truly have in this world is the integrity of our own minds and so I do my best to stay away from anything that can increase the risks of losing this for myself or for others.  Further, when it comes to those dearest to me, it always lifts my soul to hear their voices and enjoy a real, loving conversation (even if it is less than brief).